The Double Standard

The Double Standard

I will begin this with an imaginary scenario and then move on to a story. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I was trying to get my book edited. Let’s say I dealt with different men for two months trying to get it done, and nothing happened. Then after one conversation with a female, it was done immediately. If a female said to me “I guess if you need something edited, you need to get a female to do it!” I would probably laugh and say “you may be right!”

BTW I am making a concerted effort to retrain my speech to refer to that particular gender only as “females” As reported in my last post I was reprimanded for referring to females as girls (she preferred “women’) but as I look at that word it has so many negatives in it as well. I mean it has the word “man or the plural men” as part of it, and that is so demeaning and confining to what a female is. Now I am aware that “female” contains the word “male” as well. But since this is more of a scientific term, and applied to all species, that it is the most acceptable I can come up with.

If anyone has a better suggestion, please leave it in the comments. But, please don’t expect me to refer to you as “goddess” unless you can levitate, and communicate with the dead. I sometimes wonder how the goddess crowd would react if we males started to refer to ourselves as “Gods.”

Anyway, back to our story. It was a hypothetical example regarding males and females and editing a book.

Now for the parallel and true story. At the yoga studio for at least two months, half of the wall sconce lights were burnt out. Now, personally I could not give a shit, however, students didn’t want the overhead lights on while lying on their backs in savasana, and I wanted some light in the room.

For two months, I asked the females at the desk if the lights could be fixed, and later found out that another teacher had been asking for the same thing. One day I roll in to teach my class, and there is a male helping out at the desk. I happen to mention the sconces for perhaps the sixth time.

By the time I’m getting ready to start my class he has found light bulbs and replaced all the burnt-out lights. In my shock and amazement, I jokingly (sort of) blurt out “wow, I guess if you need a lightbulb replaced around here you gotta get a guy!” Or something very close to that, I don’t remember exactly. So, remember that part about my made-up story where someone says “I guess if you need something edited, you need to get a female to do it!” and I laugh and say “You may be right!” Well, in the real world it didn’t go quite like that.

What happened was that one or two females took great offense to that remark regarding males and lightbulbs, but rather than walk out they stayed for the entire class and afterwards reported my transgression to management. Now there is a first-rate, first world, champagne problem to have. A yoga teacher made what you consider to be a sexist remark, which wasn’t offensive enough to walk out over but was enough to complain about.

So, I got my very first “corporate write-up” of my not short life, as a result of that complaint. On my “permanent record” and everything. How awesome is that! First amendment rights be damned!

But this story does not end there! It gets even better!

About a month after that I went in to teach, and a big ass door in the studio had come off its hinges. So, I am there with two of my male students, and we try to fix it. It was broken, and we couldn’t repair it but got it wedged in place, so at least it was closed. The female, who was working the desk came in as we were finishing up and in her excitement to see this vast improvement said, “We just needed some testosterone!”

Basically, the exact same intent of what I had said, regarding the lightbulbs, and been punished for. I would never have considered anything in her remark to be offensive or want her to suffer in any way for it. It was lighthearted and maybe even a joke.

But there you have it, the “double standard” that permeates a world where no one accepts intent or context, and loves blanket concepts that support their righteousness.

I hope that all those concerned can feel that my punishment for that horrific remark I made regarding lightbulbs, will serve as justice and a blow to all those male sexists and abusers since time immemorial. Even if they may be feeling that pleasure in a dark room.

The result of this and the example of my last post has been a diminishing in my desire and enthusiasm to teach yoga and in some ways, even interact with females. I also don’t much care anymore about taking on new classes or giving up existing ones. Why expand the opportunities for certain people to attack you?

And so, my friends and students who value my teaching, that is how we both lose, thanks to small minds with loud voices.

Peace, out.